The New Beginning
by Missy Leigh
Summary: She ended her friendship with her best friend and then turned to the least likely of people. She fell and boy did she fall hard. How different her life is now with him in it. He gives her so much clarity in her life. She can't imagine a life without him in it. Now if only that pesky wizard that is bent on destroying the magical world would just drop dead.
1. Authors Note, Summary, Rating

Author's note, introduction, summary, and rating. Rating, summary, and disclaimer towards the bottom.

This has been running around in my head for almost a full year now and I just haven't had the time to sit down and write it out. I'm really bad about finishing a story that I start. It's not that I don't write it out or don't have a plan in mind, it's that I just don't have a lot of time. I'm a mother of twin 2 year old boys and work full time to help my fiance' pay all our bills. It doesn't leave a lot of free time to write, but this one just wouldn't leave me alone. It wont get out of my head and almost every single night, I lay in bed and it expands on itself without me even writing on it, so I figured I should probably start to get it down before I start to forget where it started in the first place. My updates are gonna be few and far between, I only have 2 days off a week and I tend to use that time doing all kinds of errands, but when I do update, it will be a rather large one, like 5k+ words. If there's a line break, it's not a jump forward in time, it's a switch in POV unless stated otherwise as this has to be told by multiple sides or it just doesn't work out right. With all that said, let me introduce myself. My name is Missy. I have twin 2 year old boys who monopolize most of my free time. The rest of my time is spent either at work or running errands and paying bills. I'm not hurting for money, but I'm not one of those people that have unlimited free time because I come from money. I've had to work my ass off for every little thing I have and personally, I think it makes me a better person. I love my kids, I love my job, I love my life and I wouldn't change a thing about it except maybe to make more time in a day and more time in a week so I could still do the things that I love and not just the things I have to do. Writing is a hobby, it doesn't pay my bills and it doesn't put food on the table so at the end of the day, if I haven't wrote anything, it doesn't make my feel bad, it's just what happens in life. I try to write something every day, but sometimes that fails and I don't feel bad if it does. When I was a teenager, I used to write on here quite frequently and managed to finish a couple stories. I don't know what happened to those or I would repost everything I started years ago and finish what I hadn't already. I haven't even been sitting at my laptop for 10 minutes yet and the munchkins are already coming up and asking me for stuff, it's a normal day in the life of a mom. It doesn't leave much time for anything else. I have insomnia so, that will help things get written more than the average mom since I barely ever sleep.

Now about the story... It's gonna be AU. It's rated M for A LOT of reasons. If you are under the age of 17, I don't advise you to read this. There's a lot of swearing and a lot of sexual things going on in this, so unless you're old enough to be reading that type of thing, hit the little back button at the top of your web browser or on your phone and pick a different story to read because this isn't the one for your young and impressionable mind. If you're looking for flowers, butterflies, and unicorns, turn back now. There's some pretty dark scenes in this. If you hate people that write about e0g of every chapter and spoil what's going to happen by giving you a run down of what's going to happen in the story. If you start this story, this and the rating filter when you search for certain stories is all you're going to get. I welcome criticism in reviews, but it's not going to change the way this story plays out as it's kind of taken on a mind of it's own in the last year in my head.

Summary: How might the story have ended if Lily and James didn't wind up together? What if it wasn't Lily and James that defied He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named 3 times, but James and someone else? What if Lily and someone else live happily ever after together? How different would the magical world look today? How different might the story be of Harry Potter? Would Harry Potter even still exist? Would Voldemort still be around? Would the war still be raging on? I'm not sure that we can ever answer all these questions, but we can answer some of them.  
Lily ends her friendship with Snape and turns to the least likely of people. She watches him from afar for a week and then finally gets the courage together to go to him. He's amazing. He's not who she thought she would wind up with, but she could do worse. She might want him for the clarity he gives her mind, but she also has a certain security with him. How different her life is now with him than it was without. Life could not be going better for her right now. Now if only that pesky wizard that is trying to dominate the magical world would just drop dead.

Disclaimer: I'm not J.K. Rowling. I don't own anything except the story line and any characters you don't recognize from her world. If I was J.K. Rowling, this would have been how the story went and I would be sitting pretty right now instead of busting my ass at work all the time.

Enjoy my version of how things might of happened had Lily not wound up with James Potter at all.


	2. Chapter 1: The Lake

Lily was sitting under a tree next to the lake reading a book when she spotted Sirius Black in just a pair of shorts with a towel over his shoulder headed down the hill. She was sitting in a spot where people coming down the hillside wouldn't notice her, but she would notice them as they headed down. She wasn't in the mood to be bothered by other people, she had just gotten into a fight with her best friend since childhood and completely ended their friendship.

As Sirius walked down the hill her eyes drifted to a tattoo of a big shaggy dog that was currently sitting on his chest wagging its tail. She had a panther that started on her hip and tended to roam around her waist. In the muggle world she would have had to wait another 3 years to get a tattoo, but sometimes being a witch had perks. Letting her eyes travel a little bit she noticed that he had an amazing body, a nice set of abs etched out in muscles that made her knees go a little week, a set of arms that could easily catch anyone or anything, and his hair was just the right length to be able to run her fingers through.

She watched as he dropped his towel near the side of the lake and then took a running dive into the water. She had watched him do this almost every afternoon for a week now. She planned on joining him today as long as no one else was around to see her do it. His best mate, James Potter, had a thing for her and had staked some sort of claim on her back in second year. It didn't stop her from having boyfriends, but most of them were run off by James at some point and she started to hate him for it. The one person he may not run off was Sirius and she could do worse than him. He was a Black which meant he came from money, even if he didn't want it or claim it, and a pureblood which meant she would probably be safe in the war that was brewing. He was good looking and charming as well and wasn't too big of an arse. So, she could do worse than Sirius Orion Black.

She slipped the tank top and shorts she had on over her bikini off and laid her book down on the towel that she was sitting on. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly to release the last of her nerves, took one last look around and then took off for the lake. She could see the bubbles and ripples on the surface of the lake where Sirius must be underneath it. She aimed for that spot as she hit the edge of the water and dove in.

The water was warmer and clearer than she expected for spring so she could only assume that it was enchanted the same way the great hall ceiling was. She looked around but didn't see Sirius anywhere. She spotted a couple mermaids swimming further out along the bottom and she could just barely make out the shape of the giant squid on the opposite side of the lake, but no Sirius. Her lungs were starting to burn and she realized that she had forgotten to do anything that would allow her to breath underwater. She pulled out her wand and muttered a spell and a small bubble formed around her nose and mouth almost like a muggle snorkel but this worked underwater, not just on the surface and didn't require an air tank. As she tucked her wand back into the band around her leg, a pair of arms wrapped around her waist.

"What are you doing down here?" the voice whispered in her ear. She was almost positive it was Sirius, but she wasn't 100% positive so she squirmed until the arms loosened enough that she could spin around in them to face the person speaking to her.  
"I was looking for you actually" she said while starting to get lost in his storm colored eyes. They were some of the most unusual eyes she had ever seen. She watched his eyes trail her body and his hands started to slide lower than her hips before he caught himself and looked back up to her face, he left his hands where they were, right below her hips.  
"Why? Want someone with an outside perspective into your problems?" He asked as his eyes started to wander again.  
"Not really." She stated. She wound her fingers into his hair and pulled his face closer to hers. She watched as his tongue slid out and just barely licked his lips and his breath hitched in his throat. Her hormones were riding shot gun and she couldn't think of anything other than his lips on hers. She kissed him and when he didn't pull away like she thought he would, she breathed a sigh of relief against his mouth. He took advantage of her open mouth and slipped his tongue inside.

She moaned into his mouth as he pulled her hips closer to his. She could feel him throbbing up against her pelvic bone. Her brain started to push through the haze of her hormones telling her that she shouldn't be doing this, that his best mate had a thing for her and that it wasn't fair. She struggled to push those thoughts to the back of her mind and enjoy what was happening. She started this, not Sirius. She needed this, she needed to not think about something for once and to just enjoy what was happening in the moment.

They had both forgotten to tread water to stay afloat, lost in each other, and had sunk to the bottom of the lake. She bounced a little and wrapped her legs around his waist. He grabbed a handful of her butt in each hand and squeezed a bit while holding her up. She felt weightless at the bottom of the lake, she also felt as if she had left all her problems up on the surface with her book and towel. She quieted her thoughts once more when Sirius started to pull away.

"Not here. I don't want to do this at the bottom of the lake where I can't do what I want."  
"What are you talking about Sirius? We're in the lake, no one can bother us or walk in on us. We can do whatever we want down here and no one else has to know. But please, do tell me what you want to do that we can't down here." She started to unwind her legs from his hips. Her brain was starting to take over and this time, without his lips on hers, it was starting to gain ground.  
He nuzzled into her neck and got as close as he could to her ear and almost as light as a breath whispered, "I want to bite your neck. I want to lick my way down your collar bone until I get to your nipples and then bite them. I want to kiss my way down your body all the way to your toes and lick my way back up and nibble on your inner thighs. I want to lick your clit and watch you squirm for me and when you're just about to cum, when you're just about to scream my name in pleasure loud enough to send all the centaurs in the forest running, I'm going to bite your clit and show you how fun a little pain can be with your pleasure."  
And just like that her hormones were back in the shot gun seat as she shoved her tongue into his mouth and grabbed one of his hands and started to swim towards the surface of the water. When they were about to break the surface, they separated and went to their own things. She got out of the water a good 50 feet away from where Sirius did. She watched him try and adjust himself so he could walk comfortably. He grabbed his towel and wrapped it around his body and headed towards her.

"Put your clothes on and follow me. I know just the place where no one can bother us and I can make you scream as loud as I want." She could tell by the look on his face that he wanted this, but out of the water and away from each other they were both starting to have doubts. James was his best mate, could they really do this to him? Could they have a secret affair without him finding out, without hurting him? She set her resolve, dried off as much as she could and slid her shorts back on foregoing the tank top. She grabbed her belongings and his hand. He started to walk towards the castle but she pulled him back towards her. She raised his hand to her mouth and slowly sucked a single finger into it and twirled it with her tongue. She pulled it slowly from her mouth while still sucking to create a pressure on his finger. When it popped out of her mouth, she looked up at him through her lashes and said, "just a reminder of why we're doing this. What floor are we going to?"  
"Just follow me, everyone is out of the castle for the most part, we're not going to run into anyone."  
"Okay then, lead the way Mr. Black."  
He chuckled a bit and started to lead her inside.

-  
He stopped once they were inside the castle to try and get his bearings. He needed a specific staircase to take them where they needed to go. He spotted the one he wanted, 3 stairways to the left. He took off before the stairs could move and drug Lily behind him. He couldn't believe he was doing this. James was his best mate and Lily was 'his' girl. This could cause a huge problem between their entire group of friends. Remus and Lily were friends, would Remus jeopardize his friendship with James and pick Lily's side in a fight this big or stay neutral as much as he could? Not sure where Pete would lay his loyalty at either since he worshipped both Sirius and James. But James, this may not be forgivable to James. _But what James doesn't know, won't hurt him._ The thought ran through his mind for the hundredth time that afternoon. He mentally shrugged his shoulders thinking that if maybe James couldn't be the bigger man and let Lily be happy with who she wanted to be with, then maybe his mate hadn't grown up as much as they all thought.

He started to pace in front of a single wall, back and forth, while arguing with himself about what he was getting ready to do. On one hand this thing that Lily started this morning, he would thoroughly enjoy it. It would probably be the highlight of his year and it may turn into something long term. He was finally ready to have a real girlfriend, even one he had to hide and sneak around with, and who better than a feisty, fiery red head with a temper to match and emerald green eyes. On the other hand, if they did this and James found out it could ruin their friendship forever. If they did this and it didn't last and didn't work out, was the risk to his friendship worth it?

About the time he had almost managed to talk himself out of doing this with Lily freaking Evans, a door appeared in the wall. He reached for Lily's hand and walked towards the door. "Close your eyes, trust me, please?" he was asking a lot of her, he knew it. If roles were reversed, he probably wouldn't close his eyes. He had given her every reason not to trust him and not a single one to trust him. But, she did as he asked. She closed her eyes very calmly and just stood there, waiting for his next command. He opened the door and guided her inside. Even though his conscious mind had been yelling at him about what he was about to do, his subconscious mind had done a hell of a job setting up a room for what he wanted.

The room was in shades of red, black, and grey. He could tell from the heavy padding on the walls that even without a silencing charm, nothing would be heard outside this room. There was a small table with pillows around it on the floor. The table had strawberries, whipped cream, and chocolate laid out on it. There was a bottle of Jack Daniels, an American whiskey stronger than firewhiskey, and 2 shot glasses in a bucket of ice. The entire room was lit by candles, they were everywhere. There was a small lounge couch, a king size 4 post bed, and fur blankets covering almost every surface. He was sure that if he looked hard enough he may find some restraints, but he didn't want to scare Lily off. This may be his fantasy, to a point, but this had to be about her today, not him.

He led her over to the table surrounded by pillows and guided her down onto them and told her to open her eyes.

When she opened her eyes she was absolutely amazed. "Where does this room even exist in the castle?" "It doesn't," he replied, "it's called the room of requirements. You walk back and forth in front of the wall 3 times and think of what kind of room you need and it creates it for you. Once there is someone in here, unless they're thinking the same thing as the person already in the room, they can't get in." "That's amazing. I can't believe after years that there are still things in this world that can absolutely astound me." He laughed while she grabbed a strawberry and began to nibble on it. "But, why did we need something this fancy? I figured you would just find a broom closet somewhere to be honest," she said in between bites.  
He looked at her for a moment and then shook his head. "You are an amazing person Lily; you deserve to have amazing. I know that when you jumped in the lake this afternoon that this wasn't at all what you had in mind. I know that you aren't thinking long term here, just through today. Maybe I am too, but maybe if this is the only chance I get in my life to have amazing, I want it to be absolutely amazing. I've watched James pine after you for years and I guess in all that time, I was quietly pining after you myself and just didn't realize it. Even if this, whatever this is," he waved his arm around, "doesn't last past today, you deserve to have an amazing day."  
She was almost in tears by the time he was done speaking. She slowly set the strawberry that she had been munching on down and grabbed for his hand to hold it in hers. "Thank you Sirius. That means so much to me. I never realized you had a sensitive side. I won't forget what you've done for me today, even if this doesn't ever happen again, I'll never forget. You've taken my mind off all of my problems today, you've given me something else to focus on and I'll never forget the one day of clarity you've given me in months." As she finished she pulled him closer to her and kissed him lightly on the lips.

The kiss quickly became more heated and they were once again lost in each other. Sirius had had a plan, he had made a plan when they were in the lake, but now that they were here in the room of requirements where he could do whatever it was that he wanted to her, he couldn't remember what he said he was going to do. All he could think about what the here and now. If he let his mind wander too much, it would bring his mind back to James and he didn't really want to be thinking about James while he had Lily in his arms. Even if it was just for a single day, she was his. He didn't want to think about how James would feel or what he might think if he knew that Sirius and Lily were together. He pulled back a little from her, he wanted this to be special for her, which meant not just jumping into bed together. It meant talking to her, letting her know that he would do anything right now to make her want him more than anyone else. It meant a little romancing and drinking because even though they were both half naked and had been in school together for 4 years, they really weren't friends. She saw the act he put on for everyone, she didn't get to see the real him, she didn't know the real him. To make this special, she had to know.  
"Talk to me Lily, why are you here? Why are you here with me?"  
"If I'm honest with myself, and you, it's because every time I've watched you dive into the lake for the past week my mind just shut off. I didn't have a million things going on in my head, I was literally just watching you. I wasn't thinking about my sister or her new boyfriend, I wasn't thinking about Sev hanging out with all the death eaters, I wasn't thinking about how I have to have perfect grades. It was just you, you somehow gave me perfect clarity and a few moments peace each day and you're just what I need in my life right now. I need a little quiet in my head and you've given me that. The whole time we've been together this afternoon I haven't thought of a single other thing and every once in a while, that's needed in life."  
"Alright, I understand that." He poured them both a couple shots. They downed them both and he refilled them again.  
"Are we out of our minds being here Sirius? If James knew, if he finds out that we even hung out and didn't say anything to him, it'll kill him. On top of that, I'm not sure if I want to give up the quiet you give me. It's like you're the perfect mix of James and Remus. You have all of their best traits and none of the bad. You've sat here and listened to me, you've done some big romantic gesture when it was just supposed to be a quick shag, I'm sure you've considered James' feelings more than once while we've been here. I'm afraid that if we do this, I'm going to want it forever, I'm going to want you forever."  
"It's complicated Lil."  
"I know. I'm all too aware of how complicated this is. I'm damaged in a way I don't think anyone else will understand. James has this perfect family idea that just doesn't fit with what I've grown up with and I don't know how to have. He's the shining sun compared to my darkness and I couldn't bring my twistedness into his life and ruin this perfect image he has of me. It's why I turn him down time after time. If he was with me, he wouldn't be the same James, he wouldn't be the guy everyone loves. He would turn into something dark and twisted just trying to help me."  
"Lily, you don't know that. James is strong as hell. His life isn't as perfect as you make it out to be, but I get it. I'm not exactly all sunshine and roses. I've got my dark and twisted side too."  
"He says he wants me forever, even when we're not together, but he doesn't know me. He sees what he wants to see. He sees this perfect version of me, this version that doesn't actually exist. He has me up on this pedestal and I'm never going to be that perfect girl that he sees and wants." She downed her two shots and reached for his and drank them too before he was able to refill hers. As Sirius was about say something, a patronus in the form of an otter came though the wall. "Lily, where are you? We're worried about you. You've been gone for hours and no one has seen you." It spoke in her best friend Cami's voice.  
"Oh Merlin." She downed the refilled shots. "I guess it's time for me to go."  
"I'm sorry Lily. I'm sorry that James has made you feel like you're anything less than perfect the way you are. Go check in with your friends. I'm not going anywhere. I'll still be here at Hogwarts tomorrow and the day after that and the day after that. Here, let me see your tattoo."  
She leaned back on the mound of pillows so that she was almost lying flat and he had easy access to the panther that was curled on top of her hip bone asleep. He came around the table on his hands and knees and slid his way up her legs so that he was laying on her legs with his face almost touching her stomach. He muttered a charm under his breath and touched his wand to her panther. The cats head lifted off its paws and looked at Sirius while twitching its ears. He lifted up a little bit and touched the wand to the shaggy dog on his chest and the dog just sat there wagging its tail with its tongue hanging out of its jaws. "Watch" he said and then touched the dog with his fingertips. _Now you can talk to me any time you want without having to actually be near me._  
"Sirius that's amazing. Where did you learn that at?" He was still stretched out down her body, but started to sit up.  
"It's just something that Remus has been working on. He just managed to get it to work the way it was supposed to a couple days ago. For a while there Remus and I were in each other's heads all the time and not just when we wanted to. It was quite annoying have him in my head all the time telling me when I shouldn't or should be doing something." She grabbed for the shot glass closest to her and drank it. She wasn't ready to leave yet, she wasn't ready to go answer all of Cami's questions about where she was and who she was with and what she had been doing.  
"You guys are amazing when you want to be, all of you. I knew all of you were smart, but this is utterly amazing. Have you tested the range on it yet? Can I talk to Remus through it too? Can I help you guys work out all the kinks to it?" He laughed at how excited she seemed to be over something so small.  
"Whoa, slow down there Lil. No, we haven't tested how far apart we can be and still have contact. We know it works through all of Gryffindor Tower. You remember that day Remus came upstairs to your room and claimed he couldn't remember what for? This was what he came up there for. In theory, you should be able to talk to anyone that has the charm by thinking their name, but hold off on that for now. I need to be able to tell Remus about all of this first so you don't scare the poor boy half to death by just popping into his head randomly. I'll ask him about you helping out and when he says yes, which you know he will, I'll tell him that I already put the charm on you."  
She kissed him. When she pulled away she said, "Thank you Sirius. For today. For this. You have no idea how much it means to me."  
"Go, check in with Cami before she send out an army to look for you," He said while chuckling.  
She groaned. "I know she means well, but she saw me this morning. It's not that unusual for her to not see me for most of the day. I love the girl, I do, but she drives me crazy sometimes." She stood up and started looking for her shirt and flip flops. When she located her missing items, she threw them on. She brushed her hand across her tattoo. _I'll talk to you in a little bit._ "This is so awesome," she said smiling, "I love it." She walked across the room and gave him a quick kiss. "See you later, Sirius." She turned around and strode out of the room before she changed her mind, swaying her hips the whole way.


End file.
